Win an autographed copy of The Zero Dog War!

Ever wish some random author would mail you an autographed copy of a book? Yes? Perfect! Because that’s what I’ll do if you trek on over to Wicked Little Pixie’s site and leave a comment. You don’t even have to read me rambling on in the post–just head straight to the comment section and, if you win, I’ll send you an autographed copy of The Zero Dog War. Also, the contest is international.

http://wickedlilpixie.com/2012/03/01/keith-melton/

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.

Here’s the randomly indented blurb:

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings

Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

 

 


The Zero Dog War Reviewed at Unabashedly Bookish!

Reviews are frightening things. As an author, you run around trying to score them, then dread the negative ones. 

“But negative reviews are inevitable,” some would say. “Why dread them?” Good point, and yet I do anyway for the simple reason that I want the reader to enjoy the book.  Not for ego gratification (although it would be dishonest to claim that a good review doesn’t lift the old writer ego), but because someone who reads a writer’s work invests something precious in it: their time and attention. I want the reader to have a good time. I feel bad when they do not, as if I have failed them.

However, despite all that build up and rambling about negative reviews, Paul Goat Allen enjoyed The Zero Dog War, so I’m running around annoying telling everyone I know about his review. Paul Goat Allen is a man with an epic beard who has read a staggering amount of speculative fiction. So, yeah, I’m excited. Here’s some quotes I pulled:

“…yet another audacious blend of genre elements; The Zero Dog War is a ballsy fusion of military fiction, urban fantasy, and zombie fiction. Envision the classic 1967 war movie The Dirty Dozen…featuring a cast of paranormal fantasy characters…”

“…a breakneck paced, action-packed, categorically cool, and utterly readable novel.”
Paul Goat Allen for Unabashedly Bookish

Read the rest here:

http://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Unabashedly-Bookish-The-BN/The-Supernatural-Dirty-Dozen-Melton-s-Newest-Blends-Urban/ba-p/1288971

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.


The Zero Dog War is out in print!

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.

 
My Urban Fantasy comedy-type-thing releases in print today. I’m rather fond of it, but seeing it release makes me feel a mix of pride and guilt, because I know I need to get off my ass and write the next book. And it is already 2012! 2011 vanished like seven layer dip at a tortilla chip convention.
 
Here’s the blurb:
 

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings
Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

Here are a bunch of buy links to various vendors:
Samhain Publishing
Barnes and Noble
Amazon
Powell’s Books


Happy New Year, Resolutions, Assorted blather…

I resolved to behave like less of an ass on the Internet in 2012.

This resolution lasted until 10:32 a.m. when I logged on to Twitter.

In real life I don’t act like the movie Airplane on crack. I am contemplative and somber.

Yeah, stop laughing. It’s true. I swear. 

Alas for the need for writers to run amok online and say things, a bad habit mercilessly encouraged by Web 2.0. I conveniently blame my asshat-wearing-ways upon the Internet. I’m not an expert on anything interesting, there are plenty of better and far more experienced writers out there handing out writing advice, and ranting about budget deficits and infrastructure decay is depressing, boring, and gets old after roughly 32.5 words.

So I keep the important things I wish to explore and examine for the characters and the stories. (Never mind that some of those stories read like the Airplane movies on crack.) And then I run amok on the Internet sounding deranged, stupid, overly excited by giant robots, swords, the Red Sox, fire, the Oregon Ducks, gelatin, ferrets, zombies (and not in that order) while sporting all the sophistication of a 13-year-old male.

Evil has never looked so adorable.

I’m considering posting some new writing from my 37,000 ongoing series on the blog, but the thought of posting unedited material makes me twitchy.

Anyway, I’d give a general status update on writing progress, but I’m still working on the third Nightfall Syndicate book, and after that I plan to write the sequel to The Zero Dog War. There may or may not be a Zero Dog novella in the meantime (I have one at about 30,000 words, with another 20,000 needed to finish the story). We’ll see. 2011 was not my favorite year. Not by a long shot. Too fast and chaotic. I’m hoping 2012 is far better. Unless the world ends, which will suck.

Happy New Year to everyone. I wish you the best for the coming year.

As for me, I’ll be back to writing…

…and acting like an idiot on the Internet.


Fire, Ice, and Zombies, Oh My!

I’m over at the Apocalyptathon brought to you by the awesome Moira Rogers. I’m jabbering about zombies and the TV show The Walking Dead.

Check it out:

http://moirarogers.com/blog/archives/4605

You can win a $10 gift certificate for Amazon by leaving a comment.

Also, I murder a Robert Frost poem by inserting zombies.

Just because I can.


My Book Giveaway Over At Book Lovers Inc Open Until Oct. 22nd

I have a guest post and giveaway going on at Book Lovers Inc. The guest post is about my not-so-secret love of libraries (subtly titled: Bermuda Triangle Love and Libraries). The giveaway is an ebook copy of any of my backlist titles (The Zero Dog War, Blood Vice, Ghost Soldiers, Run, Wolf) or the forthcoming 9mm Blues (when I get my author copies).

http://www.bookloversinc.com/2011/10/bermuda-triangle-love-and-libraries-by.html

The giveaway is open until October 22nd. All you have to do is leave a comment. So very easy. ^_^


The Clearing at the Center of the Forest: Speed, Guilt, and the Process of Writing

Fair warning, this post contains unadulterated writing shoptalk. If jargon and rampant writer-ish excess bore you, I suggest hitting the Skip button.

 

The Clearing at the Center of the Forest: Speed and the Process of Writing

On rare occasions I pause and wonder how fast I should be writing. This generally happens when an author friend produces far more word count volume in a shorter amount of time than I do, or I’m lapped in book releases by peers, or everybody (including me) forgets what the hell happened in the previous book of the series to which I’m writing a sequel. The voices in my head attempt to make me feel guilty, or lazy, or self-indulgently slow.

Don’t listen to the voices.

I didn’t release a book in 2010. The lack of a release was entirely my fault. I stopped seventy-five percent of the way through Ghost Soldiers to chase an idea that had just crashed home with all the subtlety of a tractor-trailer race on an icy mountain road—an idea that ended up being the core of the humor urban fantasy novel The Zero Dog War. Then I rewrote much of Ghost Soldiers to better integrate the two separate character plot lines. I read and rewrote and read again, tweaking the language, the placement of the scenes, etc. That, more than anything, is the wind drag on my little red writing racecar. The tweaking. The layering. The stripping away of excess words, or the adding of details and depth where lean prose has crossed a line into emaciated. It is simply a function of how I write. Some writers can get it right, or very nearly so, during the first couple of drafts. I envy them in the same way I envy golfers who can tee off without slicing, but I understand I do things differently, and that works for me.

Just like slicing into the pond.

Every single damn time.

First off, I don’t recommend following the writing pattern I use. It is a jumbled, haphazard approach that will never win any awards for efficiency. However, I’ve tried to change and can’t seem to pull it off, so I run with what I have. The path to finishing a piece of writing is unique to each writer. We stand in front of a dark forest. We each cut an individual trail into the shadows beneath the trees. No two writers will arrive at the clearing in the center of the forest by means of an identical path. Take comfort from that. You must forge your own trail, and this can be both tremendously exciting and wildly terrifying.

I tend to write fast, burning through a rough draft of a scene. Then I go back at some point and layer in the detail, adjust the words and rhythm of the prose. This, for me, is the greatest time sink. I may go back and add details/layering/tweaks several times after the “rough completion” of a scene—and this is before edits. The most obnoxious personal record I remember setting was when I did this nine or ten times in one book, layering in plot/character points, adjusting, fine tuning, as the novel developed and I gained a better grasp of the characters and motivations. Other times, as I wrote my way further along the path, I came up with an idea I liked better or was more efficient or created more tension/conflict and had to start back at the front of the book and layer it through the whole text.

There are plenty of writers who believe this tweaking and rewriting is akin to spinning one’s wheels in the mud. Get it out and get it on, they like to say. I certainly appreciate where they are coming from, but I’ve never considered this wasted time. I know the tendency for a writer, especially a writer under deadlines either external or internal, might be to see this as inefficient or wasteful. However, if you write slowly—or even erratically—I urge you not to feel guilt or find fault with your process if it works for you. If it doesn’t work or you grow dissatisfied, by all means, change things up. If you are pleased with the end result, don’t feel pressured to change to conform to any other writer’s opinion on how things should be done.

What matters is the finished product.

If you are a writer who creates strong first drafts and great finished product in short amounts of time then never feel ashamed by your speed. I’ve heard just as many snide comments about writers who write fast as I have about writers who take forever to cross the finish line. Ignore such blather. Somebody is always bitching about somebody else. Death. Taxes. Somebody bitching about something. Universals all.

Write in the way that works best for you, as an individual. The path you follow is your own, unique, and while it might pass close to the trail of other writers, have faith that each step, each word nested in each sentence has been walked by none before in exactly the same way. Run the path or leisurely stroll the trail, whichever you prefer, because the clearing at the center of the forest is where we present our writing to the reader.

A well-written book speaks for itself, whether pounded out in a feverish week of hyperactivity or slowly built over the course of years. At times I wish there were a magical shiny Chutes and Ladders rainbow slide one could take to zip from I Just Wrote The First Chapter! to I Just Crushed That Ending With a Six Ton Elephant of Awesome, but such slides do not exist.

And if they do exist, somebody have mercy and please point me in the right direction.

Although I did not release a book in 2010, I will likely have four releases in 2011. The Zero Dog War and Ghost Soldiers are both out now. 9mm Blues should release shortly. My current project, A Thousand Ravens Dark, might even score a December 2011 release date. I’m walking that path, albeit slowly, but I get there.

My only rambling advice is this: in the final tally, it doesn’t matter how long it takes to finish, doesn’t matter how many days or months or years are needed to push through the last line of trees out into the sunlit meadow.

Sit down and write.


Cthulhu Mythos Rivalry…

Cosmic horror just got serious.

(click on the image for a better view)


Just Writing…

Nothing much happening.

Kids will be headed off to school soon. I’m trying to finish the novel I’m working on. I still have several projects I’m juggling all at once. The third book of the Nightfall Syndicate (Blood Vice, Ghost Soldiers), a new Zero Dog novella and then the full novel sequel, and a dark epic fantasy…just because I’m insane and didn’t have enough irons in the fire already.

Back to writing…


So let’s say you are severely bored…

…and you feel some latent desire to be on Facebook. Well, if your clicky-mouse finger happens to be feeling restless, please feel free to head on over to my newborn Facebook Author Page here and “Like” that baby. I would really appreciate it. But no pressure. I’m not sure how much I like that Keith Melton guy myself, the shifty bastard.

http://www.facebook.com/keithmelton99#!/pages/Keith-Melton/199082863480486

And In Other Book News:

My new hardcase action-packed Urban Fantasy novel 9mm Blues releases on Sept 19, 2011 from Etopia Press. Thorn Knights and ghouls ripping the hell out of one another. This one is intense…and I’m very excited about it.


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