The Zero Dog War Reviewed at Unabashedly Bookish!

Reviews are frightening things. As an author, you run around trying to score them, then dread the negative ones. 

“But negative reviews are inevitable,” some would say. “Why dread them?” Good point, and yet I do anyway for the simple reason that I want the reader to enjoy the book.  Not for ego gratification (although it would be dishonest to claim that a good review doesn’t lift the old writer ego), but because someone who reads a writer’s work invests something precious in it: their time and attention. I want the reader to have a good time. I feel bad when they do not, as if I have failed them.

However, despite all that build up and rambling about negative reviews, Paul Goat Allen enjoyed The Zero Dog War, so I’m running around annoying telling everyone I know about his review. Paul Goat Allen is a man with an epic beard who has read a staggering amount of speculative fiction. So, yeah, I’m excited. Here’s some quotes I pulled:

“…yet another audacious blend of genre elements; The Zero Dog War is a ballsy fusion of military fiction, urban fantasy, and zombie fiction. Envision the classic 1967 war movie The Dirty Dozen…featuring a cast of paranormal fantasy characters…”

“…a breakneck paced, action-packed, categorically cool, and utterly readable novel.”
Paul Goat Allen for Unabashedly Bookish

Read the rest here:

http://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Unabashedly-Bookish-The-BN/The-Supernatural-Dirty-Dozen-Melton-s-Newest-Blends-Urban/ba-p/1288971

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.

The Zero Dog War is out in print!

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.

 

My Urban Fantasy comedy-type-thing releases in print today. I’m rather fond of it, but seeing it release makes me feel a mix of pride and guilt, because I know I need to get off my ass and write the next book. And it is already 2012! 2011 vanished like seven layer dip at a tortilla chip convention.

 

Here’s the blurb:

 

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings
Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

Here are a bunch of buy links to various vendors:
Samhain Publishing
Barnes and Noble
Amazon
Powell’s Books

Shocking New Interview…and Shocking Giveaway!

I know. I know. You never saw it coming. Another crazy interview in which I draw really bad pictures of zombies on fire, talk about the evils of gelatin desserts, and there might even be a zombie mime.

http://www.bookloversinc.com/2011/03/interview-author-keith-melton.html#more

You can win an ebook copy of  The Zero Dog War, my newest book, by leaving a comment before March 19th, 2011.

What’s that you say? You want to know what the hell a Zero Dog War is? Well, my friend, you’re in luck because I have a handy blurb to post for your moral edification. No, no. No need to thank me. I do this stuff out of love.

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Warning: Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

The Zero Dog War is out!

Whew. I’m not very good at waiting. I mean, if a page takes longer than 6.5 seconds to load I click on something else (okay, I’m not actually that bad. Having small children has taught me a great deal of patience). The good news is that my book The Zero Dog War has finally released at Samhain. Hold on while I spam you with the blurb.

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings

Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

***

Yes, folks. This one is a comedy. I should probably put comedy in quotes, now that I think of it, because one person’s “comedy” is another person’s “WTF? That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever read!” Hopefully, even if this falls in the latter category it still scores some laughs.

Here are a couple of early reviews:

http://paranormalbookreviews-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/02/review-zero-dog-war-zero-dog-missions-1.html

http://www.smexybooks.com/2011/02/review-zero-dog-war-by-keith-melton.html

Tantalizing, Yet Not High-Pressure GET-IT-HERE LINK: http://store.samhainpublishing.com/the-zero-dog-war-p-6261.html