Win an autographed copy of The Zero Dog War!

Ever wish some random author would mail you an autographed copy of a book? Yes? Perfect! Because that’s what I’ll do if you trek on over to Wicked Little Pixie’s site and leave a comment. You don’t even have to read me rambling on in the post–just head straight to the comment section and, if you win, I’ll send you an autographed copy of The Zero Dog War. Also, the contest is international.

http://wickedlilpixie.com/2012/03/01/keith-melton/

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.

Here’s the randomly indented blurb:

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings

Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

 

 

The Zero Dog War is out in print!

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.

 

My Urban Fantasy comedy-type-thing releases in print today. I’m rather fond of it, but seeing it release makes me feel a mix of pride and guilt, because I know I need to get off my ass and write the next book. And it is already 2012! 2011 vanished like seven layer dip at a tortilla chip convention.

 

Here’s the blurb:

 

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings
Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

Here are a bunch of buy links to various vendors:
Samhain Publishing
Barnes and Noble
Amazon
Powell’s Books

My Book Giveaway Over At Book Lovers Inc Open Until Oct. 22nd

I have a guest post and giveaway going on at Book Lovers Inc. The guest post is about my not-so-secret love of libraries (subtly titled: Bermuda Triangle Love and Libraries). The giveaway is an ebook copy of any of my backlist titles (The Zero Dog War, Blood Vice, Ghost Soldiers, Run, Wolf) or the forthcoming 9mm Blues (when I get my author copies).

http://www.bookloversinc.com/2011/10/bermuda-triangle-love-and-libraries-by.html

The giveaway is open until October 22nd. All you have to do is leave a comment. So very easy. ^_^

Guest Post and a Giveaway at The Book Pushers

I’m rambling over at The Book Pushers. You can leave a random comment for a chance to win an eBook copy of Ghost Soldiers. Also, there might even be an authentic author photo of myself personally drawn by me. (Honestly, how vain can a guy get? Answer: Pretty damn vain)

http://thebookpushers.com/2011/07/12/guest-post-giveaway-with-keith-melton/

The giveaway is open until July 19th, 2011.

Oh yeah, and I also mention my secret new twist on vamps: cyborg vampires. Just imagine if the Terminator was a vampire.  Actually, that dude was pretty frightening as is.

Ghost Soldiers (Nightfall Syndicate 2) Out Now!

Yeah, this book has been a long time coming. I really like that moody cover. I think Kanaxa (the cover artist) did a great job capturing the feel of the book.

Get in. Do the job. Get out. If only it were that easy.

The Nightfall Syndicate, Book 2

Vampire hit man Karl Vance has a new target: a rogue, charismatic sorcerer building an army of paranormal creatures in Eastern Europe. The stakes have never been higher, nor the odds so long, but he’s in too deep to turn back. If Karl fails to kill, the powerful Order of the Thorn will hunt down Maria Ricardi, the vampire he loves, and destroy everything he’s fighting for.

When Karl is cut off in enemy badlands, he’s reduced to survival mode, doing the kinds of things he’d sworn would never be part of his vampire existence. Things that will forever color his relationship with Maria…if he survives to see her again.

In Boston, Maria is haunted by disturbing dreams of Karl as she struggles to keep control of her mafia syndicate against a growing tide of threats—traitors, FBI agents, hostile crime families, and the fear that power will turn her into a creature like her hated Master, Delgado. Then she discovers Karl is walking straight into a deadly trap…and there may be nothing she can do to stop it in time.

Product Warnings

Explicit language and intense, violent content. Assassinations, betrayals, paranormal warfare, explosions, gangland slayings, chaos, calamity, rampant pandemonium, and an occasional fiery explosion.

***

It was good to be back writing about Karl, Maria, Xiesha, and the Nightfall world. The book is, of course, very different from the crazy/absurd world of the Zero Dog Series. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Zero Dogs and all the zaniness (yes, I waited a long time to include the word ”zaniness” in a blog post–what can I say? I’m easily amused), but it felt good to be back in the high-tension, dark, serious world of the Nightfall series. I did try to up the amount of humor in Ghost Soldiers versus Blood Vice (which perhaps feels its lack), but kept it in line with the overall tone of the series. Far less vampire angst. Far more rampant supernatural and mafia mayhem.  Some big events and some serious character changes…but I’ll say no more.

For those interested, “ghost soldiers” is a term that refers to Sicilian hit men brought over to carry out a hit, then leave the States and return to Sicily, making it nearly impossible for law enforcement to identify who did the shooting. Since they aren’t part of an American mafia family, it’s hard for other syndicates to know for certain who ordered the target whacked.

It’s my sincere hope that everyone who read and enjoyed Blood Vice will enjoy Ghost Soldiers. There’s only one more book to go in the series ! The as-of-yet-untitled grand finale.

For those interested, the eBook is available at these fine retailers (the print book will release in 9 months…next April):

Ghost Soldiers Samhain Store

Ghost Soldiers Amazon

Ghost Soldiers Barnes and Noble

Ghost Soldiers Kobo

Ghost Soldiers Apple iTunes

The Zero Dog War is out!

Whew. I’m not very good at waiting. I mean, if a page takes longer than 6.5 seconds to load I click on something else (okay, I’m not actually that bad. Having small children has taught me a great deal of patience). The good news is that my book The Zero Dog War has finally released at Samhain. Hold on while I spam you with the blurb.

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings

Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

***

Yes, folks. This one is a comedy. I should probably put comedy in quotes, now that I think of it, because one person’s “comedy” is another person’s “WTF? That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever read!” Hopefully, even if this falls in the latter category it still scores some laughs.

Here are a couple of early reviews:

http://paranormalbookreviews-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/02/review-zero-dog-war-zero-dog-missions-1.html

http://www.smexybooks.com/2011/02/review-zero-dog-war-by-keith-melton.html

Tantalizing, Yet Not High-Pressure GET-IT-HERE LINK: http://store.samhainpublishing.com/the-zero-dog-war-p-6261.html

9mm Blues Excerpt and Interview

I have a new short interview at Etopia Press, as well as an excerpt from my new Urban Fantasy novel, 9mm Blues.

Check it out! ^_^

http://etopiapressblog.wordpress.com/2010/11/01/meet-author-keith-melton/

9mm Blues

 

By Keith Melton

Dark Urban Fantasy

Novel

 

His honor and his oath… or the life of one small child?

Christopher Hill is a knight in the Order of the Thorn—a hard charger packing a submachine gun and a sword. His mission is simple: destroy the ancient, profane evils that prey upon humanity.

But Hill’s mission becomes much more complicated when a young boy is kidnapped by flesh-eating ghouls. Barricaded inside a run-down house, the ghouls slowly gain the upper hand, while outside, mounting casualties and internal power struggles threaten both the mission and the boy Hill’s vowed to see home safe, no matter what…

Coming Soon!

Keith Melton Vs Moira Rogers ROUND ONE!

In all honesty, this is really just about me and the Bree half of Moira Rogers going toe to toe. The Donna half of Moira Rogers is really very nice except for that time she told me to die in a fire. She fights battles against evil corporate ISPs and feeds orphans. Bree, on the other hand…well, I’ll get to that.

If you’ve never read Moira Rogers, what’s wrong with you? Honestly. Her werewolves scorch the pages. Very cool stuff, both the Red Rock Pass series and her Southern Arcana series. I have a soft spot for her character Mackenzie. She also has about a billion other books out that I haven’t read, but if I list them all we’ll be here all night.

Anyway, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Moira Rogers consists of the incredible super dynamic writing duo of Bree and Donna. One of them hacks databases. The other launches wild pigs through the air with trebuchets. Or so I heard on the internet, I swear.

Regardless of their personal hobbies indulged while not writing, I’m here to detail a bit of the vaguely infamous throwdown that happened the other day on the magical social networking paradise of Twitter. For those of you who are dead, Twitter is a place known for brevity, wit, and a huge whale lifted by ropes by a bunch of annoying birds. But I digress, as usual.

The altercation started when I realized, much to my shock and awe, that Hamtaro might just be one of the most frighteningly disturbing things I’d ever seen. Watch this clip, but be warned. You cannot UNSEE it once you’ve subjected your eyes to its Hyper Evil Cuteness.

 

Alas, after suffering yet another unprovoked @moirarogersbree insult (this one about how my face would look better hidden by a mullet and then backed over by a tractor — I’d link to it directly but there are small children on the internet, God help them all) I felt it incumbent upon me to fire back with both metaphorical barrels. Thus, I drew the comparison (admittedly shaky) between Moira Roger’s shapeshifters and the fell creatures of Hamtaro the hamster anime.

I’m happy to say nine out of ten of my fellow internet monkeys agreed with me.

Not content to turn the other cheek, Bree of the Awesome Infamousity and Ryan Reynolds Propaganda countered by suggesting my vampire hit man, Karl Vance, would find employment in the following capacity after the completion of my urban fantasy series:

 

Ah, Sesame Street. You bring back such joyous memories. Memories of obsessively counting vampires, trench coats, and…lightning in elevators. Now, notice how the Count actually bounces Kermit out of the elevator as if he were an obnoxious drunk slurring his profanity at some posh club. I find this line of work entirely plausible for my vampire.

Hey, times are tough all over.

Unfortunately, since I’m male and need to keep score, I’m going to have to arbitrarily award this round to me on points. So, Keith wins round one. You may proceed to launch fireworks and kiss babies in joyous celebration.

One can buy the Moira Rogers books I mentioned here:

http://samhainpublishing.com/authors/moira-rogers

You can also find them all over the place on Amazon and Fictionwise, but you’ll have to do the legwork.

Oh yeah, here’s a poll so we can make my victory all statistically valid.