The Zero Dog War is out in print!

Zombies. Comedy. Gelatin. Machine guns. Large cats.
My Urban Fantasy comedy-type-thing releases in print today. I’m rather fond of it, but seeing it release makes me feel a mix of pride and guilt, because I know I need to get off my ass and write the next book. And it is already 2012! 2011 vanished like seven layer dip at a tortilla chip convention.
Here’s the blurb:

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

Zero Dog Missions, Book 1

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings
Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

Here are a bunch of buy links to various vendors:
Samhain Publishing
Barnes and Noble
Powell’s Books

Happy New Year, Resolutions, Assorted blather…

I resolved to behave like less of an ass on the Internet in 2012.

This resolution lasted until 10:32 a.m. when I logged on to Twitter.

In real life I don’t act like the movie Airplane on crack. I am contemplative and somber.

Yeah, stop laughing. It’s true. I swear. 

Alas for the need for writers to run amok online and say things, a bad habit mercilessly encouraged by Web 2.0. I conveniently blame my asshat-wearing-ways upon the Internet. I’m not an expert on anything interesting, there are plenty of better and far more experienced writers out there handing out writing advice, and ranting about budget deficits and infrastructure decay is depressing, boring, and gets old after roughly 32.5 words.

So I keep the important things I wish to explore and examine for the characters and the stories. (Never mind that some of those stories read like the Airplane movies on crack.) And then I run amok on the Internet sounding deranged, stupid, overly excited by giant robots, swords, the Red Sox, fire, the Oregon Ducks, gelatin, ferrets, zombies (and not in that order) while sporting all the sophistication of a 13-year-old male.

Evil has never looked so adorable.

I’m considering posting some new writing from my 37,000 ongoing series on the blog, but the thought of posting unedited material makes me twitchy.

Anyway, I’d give a general status update on writing progress, but I’m still working on the third Nightfall Syndicate book, and after that I plan to write the sequel to The Zero Dog War. There may or may not be a Zero Dog novella in the meantime (I have one at about 30,000 words, with another 20,000 needed to finish the story). We’ll see. 2011 was not my favorite year. Not by a long shot. Too fast and chaotic. I’m hoping 2012 is far better. Unless the world ends, which will suck.

Happy New Year to everyone. I wish you the best for the coming year.

As for me, I’ll be back to writing…

…and acting like an idiot on the Internet.